Joys of Boys

Being a mother of boys feels a bit like hazing. They assault your senses, your patience and your surroundings on a regular basis.

They start out so cute & adorable, like all babies do, then they start walking & talking… and that’s it… your life is about to get much more interesting…

Things I say to my boys;

Stop rubbing your bare bum off the floor.

Please put some clothes on.

Get a tissue.

Please dont wave that stick in my face (actual stick!)

Stop pulling your willy.

Make sure your willy is pointing into the toilet this time.

Say excuse me when you fart…

Yes that was a really big fart.

Stop squeezing your brother’s head.

Please don’t lick your finger after touching the bird poo.

Don’t poke that cat’s eyes.

Don’t pull the cat’s tail.

Get your bum out of my face.

Things my boys have said to me;

I NEED to see you pee.

Where is your willy?

How do you wee if you don’t have a willy?

How do cats have babies? That hole is too small!

Farts mean that a poo is coming.

Nip holder! (When you don’t know the word for bra)

Your belly is so squishy!

Then sometimes they surprise you by being very adorable and cute…

You know everything about creatures Mammy.

I like when you read the story.

Mammy come in the sittin room… (aka I need you now, please stop cleaning the kitchen in vain).

You look so boo-tee-ful mammy (on the rare occasion I put make-up on!)

I hate girls. Well I only like one girl & thats you.

I will marry you when I get big.

I always said I would love to have a girl, but at this stage, I don’t know what I would do if a girl came along. I’m very afraid I have been brainwashed by these males. They may be gross & rude, but they do give really good hugs.

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